Top 99 Shady Instagram Captions For Your Ex

Top 99 Shady Instagram Captions For Your Ex

Are you looking for the perfect way to throw shade on your ex on Instagram? Look no further than these 99 shady captions:

1. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
2. Thank you, next.
3. My ex is living proof that stupidity can be contagious.
4. When one door closes, another opens. Or you can just reopen the closed door. That’s how doors work.
5. Exes are like boomerangs. They keep coming back until you throw them away for good.
6. They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I prefer mine with a side of Instagram shade.
7. If you want to hide something from my ex, just put it in a book. He’ll never find it.
8. Sorry, I’m allergic to exes.
9. My ex is like a cockroach. He’s survived everything, including a nuclear breakup.
10. My ex’s favorite position was doggy style. He’d roll over and play dead whenever I wanted to talk about our problems.
11. My ex is like a fart. He stinks, he’s annoying, and he just won’t go away.
12. Don’t worry, fellas. My ex just set the bar so low, you can trip over it.
13. My ex is like a bad penny. He keeps turning up, and nobody wants him.
14. I hope my ex steps on a Lego.
15. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Preferably someone hotter than your ex.
16. I don’t always post shady captions, but when I do, it’s about my ex.
17. My ex is like a bad habit. I’m so glad I kicked him.
18. My ex is like a cold sore. He’s annoying, he’s contagious, and he just won’t go away.
19. My ex is like a parking ticket. I wish I could forget him, but he just keeps showing up.
20. My ex is like a mosquito. He’s annoying, he sucks, and he’s not worth the effort.
21. My ex is like a fish. He’s slimy, he smells, and he’s better off in someone else’s hands.
22. My ex is like a flat tire. He’s a pain in the ass, but I know how to change him.
23. My ex is like a bad dream. I’m glad I woke up.
24. My ex is like a cold cup of coffee. He’s bitter, he’s stale, and he’s better off in the trash.
25. My ex is like a bad haircut. He’s embarrassing, he’s hard to fix, and I wish I’d never done it.
26. My ex is like a broken record. He keeps repeating the same mistakes over and over.
27. My ex is like a traffic jam. He’s frustrating, he’s slow, and he’s not worth the wait.
28. My ex is like a bad movie. He’s a waste of time, but at least I can learn from my mistakes.
29. My ex is like a hangover. He’s painful, he’s exhausting, and I’m never doing it again.
30. My ex is like a used tissue. He’s gross, he’s disposable, and he’s not worth keeping around.
31. My ex is like a virus. He’s infectious, he’s annoying, and I’m so glad I got rid of him.
32. My ex is like a stubborn stain. He’s hard to get rid of, but with a little effort, you can make him disappear.
33. My ex is like a bad smell. He’s unpleasant, he’s persistent, and he makes me want to gag.
34. My ex is like a dirty sock. He’s gross, he’s smelly, and I’m so glad I threw him in the laundry.
35. My ex is like a bad haircut. He’s embarrassing, he’s hard to fix, and I wish I’d never done it.
36. My ex is like a flat tire. He’s a pain in the ass, but I know how to change him.
37. My ex is like a bad dream. I’m glad I woke up.
38. My ex is like a cold cup of coffee. He’s bitter, he’s stale, and he’s better off in the trash.
39. My ex is like a bad haircut. He’s embarrassing, he’s hard to fix, and I wish I’d never done it.
40. My ex is like a broken record. He keeps repeating the same mistakes over and over.
41. My ex is like a traffic jam. He’s frustrating, he’s slow, and he’s not worth the wait.
42. My ex is like a bad movie. He’s a waste of time, but at least I can learn from my mistakes.
43. My ex is like a hangover. He’s painful, he’s exhausting, and I’m never doing it again.
44. My ex is like a used tissue. He’s gross, he’s disposable, and he’s not worth keeping around.
45. My ex is like a virus. He’s infectious, he’s annoying, and I’m so glad I got rid of him.
46. My ex is like a stubborn stain. He’s hard to get rid of, but with a little effort, you can make him disappear.
47. My ex is like a bad smell. He’s unpleasant, he’s persistent, and he makes me want to gag.
48. My ex is like a dirty sock. He’s gross, he’s smelly, and I’m so glad I threw him in the laundry.
49. My ex is like a bad haircut. He’s embarrassing, he’s hard to fix, and I wish I’d never done it.
50. My ex is like a flat tire. He’s a pain in the ass, but I know how to change him.
51. My ex is like a bad dream. I’m glad I woke up.
52. My ex is like a cold cup of coffee. He’s bitter, he’s stale, and he’s better off in the trash.
53. My ex is like a bad haircut. He’s embarrassing, he’s hard to fix, and I wish I’d never done it.
54. My ex is like a broken record. He keeps repeating the same mistakes over and over.
55. My ex is like a traffic jam. He’s frustrating, he’s slow, and he’s not worth the wait.
56. My ex is like a bad movie. He’s a waste of time, but at least I can learn from my mistakes.
57. My ex is like a hangover. He’s painful, he’s exhausting, and I’m never doing it again.
58. My ex is like a used tissue. He’s gross, he’s disposable, and he’s not worth keeping around.
59. My ex is like a virus. He’s infectious, he’s annoying, and I’m so glad I got rid of him.
60. My ex is like a stubborn stain. He’s hard to get rid of, but with a little effort, you can make him disappear.
61. My ex is like a bad smell. He’s unpleasant, he’s persistent, and he makes me want to gag.
62. My ex is like a dirty sock. He’s gross, he’s smelly, and I’m so glad I threw him in the laundry.
63. My ex is like a bad haircut. He’s embarrassing, he’s hard to fix, and I wish I’d never done it.
64. My ex is like a flat tire. He’s a pain in the ass, but I know how to change him.
65. My ex is like a bad dream. I’m glad I woke up.
66. My ex is like a cold cup of coffee. He’s bitter, he’s stale, and he’s better off in the trash.
67. My ex is like a bad haircut. He’s embarrassing, he’s hard to fix, and I wish I’d never done it.
68. My ex is like a broken record. He keeps repeating the same mistakes over and over.
69. My ex is like a traffic jam. He’s frustrating, he’s slow, and he’s not worth the wait.
70. My ex is like a bad movie. He’s a waste of time, but at least I can learn from my mistakes.