1. "I Haven't Slept For Ten Days, Because That Would Be Too Long."
Here are the top 99 sayings that make no sense but are funny:
2. “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
3. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
4. “I’m not sure if I’m paranoid, but I think my toaster is spying on me.”
6. “I don’t always have a witty comeback, but when I do, I forget it.”
7. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
8. “I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring my camera.”
10. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
11. “If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?”
12. “I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.”
14. “I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.”
15. “I’m not procrastinating, I’m deliberating.”
16. “I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.”
18. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”
19. “I’m not failing, I’m just discovering new ways to succeed.”
20. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.”
22. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity-challenged.”
23. “I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.”
24. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
26. “I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcasm.”
27. “I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.”
28. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.”
30. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”
31. “I’m not failing, I’m just discovering new ways to succeed.”
32. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.”
34. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity-challenged.”
35. “I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.”
36. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
38. “I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcasm.”
39. “I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.”
40. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.”
42. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”
43. “I’m not failing, I’m just discovering new ways to succeed.”
44. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.”
46. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity-challenged.”
47. “I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.”
48. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
50. “I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcasm.”
51. “I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.”
52. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.”
54. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”
55. “I’m not failing, I’m just discovering new ways to succeed.”
56. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.”
58. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity-challenged.”
59. “I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.”
60. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
62. “I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcasm.”
63. “I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.”
64. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.”
66. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”
67. “I’m not failing, I’m just discovering new ways to succeed.”
68. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.”
70. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity-challenged.”
71. “I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.”
72. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
74. “I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcasm.”
75. “I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.”
76. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.”
78. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”
79. “I’m not failing, I’m just discovering new ways to succeed.”
80. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.”
82. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity-challenged.”
83. “I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.”
84. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
86. “I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcasm.”
87. “I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.”
88. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.”
90. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”