Top 99 Sarcastic Quotes About Ex Husbands

Top 99 Sarcastic Quotes About Ex Husbands

Sarcasm can be a great way to cope with the pain and frustration of dealing with an ex-husband. Here are the top 99 sarcastic quotes about ex-husbands that will make you laugh and feel better.

1. “I’m not saying my ex-husband is a bad person, I’m just saying he’s not a good person to be married to.”
2. “I used to think my ex-husband was a catch, now I realize he was a warning.”
3. “Marriage is like a deck of cards, in the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.”
4. “I didn’t divorce him because he was a bad husband, I divorced him because he was a bad person.”
5. “My ex-husband is living proof that stupidity can be contagious.”
6. “I’m not bitter, I’m just not blind to his flaws anymore.”
7. “My ex-husband is like a cockroach, he just won’t go away.”
8. “Divorce is like a game of chess, you have to think several moves ahead to avoid getting screwed.”
9. “My ex-husband is like a boomerang, he keeps coming back when I least expect it.”
10. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.”
11. “My ex-husband is like a bad penny, he keeps turning up.”
12. “Divorce is expensive, but it’s worth every penny.”
13. “My ex-husband is like a bad cold, he just won’t go away.”
14. “I’m not saying my ex-husband is a bad person, I’m just saying I prefer not to spend my life with him.”
15. “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”
16. “Divorce is like a tornado, it sucks up everything in its path.”
17. “My ex-husband is like a bad dream, I wish I could wake up and find out it never happened.”
18. “Marriage is like a game of poker, you never know what cards you’re going to be dealt.”
19. “Divorce is like a game of chess, sometimes you have to sacrifice a pawn to win the game.”
20. “My ex-husband is like a bad smell, he just won’t go away.”
21. “Marriage is like a rollercoaster, it has its ups and downs, but eventually, it makes you sick.”
22. “Divorce is like a hangover, it’s painful, but eventually, it goes away.”
23. “My ex-husband is like a bad haircut, I wish I never got it.”
24. “Marriage is like a game of Jenga, one wrong move and the whole thing comes crashing down.”
25. “Divorce is like a game of Battleship, you have to sink a few ships to win the game.”
26. “My ex-husband is like a bad movie, I wish I never saw it.”
27. “Marriage is like a game of Risk, you have to be strategic to win the game.”
28. “Divorce is like a game of Monopoly, you have to be willing to lose a few properties to win the game.”
29. “My ex-husband is like a bad song, it’s stuck in my head and won’t go away.”
30. “Marriage is like a game of Clue, you have to figure out who did it and with what weapon.”
31. “Divorce is like a game of Connect Four, you have to line up your pieces to win the game.”
32. “My ex-husband is like a bad book, I wish I never read it.”
33. “Marriage is like a game of Twister, you have to contort yourself to make it work.”
34. “Divorce is like a game of Pictionary, sometimes you have to draw a few bad pictures to win the game.”
35. “My ex-husband is like a bad habit, I wish I could quit him.”
36. “Marriage is like a game of Scrabble, you have to make the best of the letters you’re given.”
37. “Divorce is like a game of Simon Says, sometimes you have to follow the wrong instructions to win the game.”
38. “My ex-husband is like a bad memory, I wish I could forget him.”
39. “Marriage is like a game of Tetris, sometimes you have to fit a square peg into a round hole.”
40. “Divorce is like a game of Operation, you have to be careful not to touch the sides or you’ll get zapped.”
41. “My ex-husband is like a bad joke, I wish I never heard it.”
42. “Marriage is like a game of Yahtzee, sometimes you have to roll the dice and hope for the best.”
43. “Divorce is like a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, you have to gobble up as much as you can before it’s all gone.”
44. “My ex-husband is like a bad actor, I wish he would stop playing the role of my ex-husband.”
45. “Marriage is like a game of Blackjack, sometimes you have to take a hit to get closer to 21.”
46. “Divorce is like a game of Sorry, you have to apologize for a lot of things to win the game.”
47. “My ex-husband is like a bad smell, the longer he stays around, the worse it gets.”
48. “Marriage is like a game of Chess, sometimes you have to sacrifice a piece to win the game.”
49. “Divorce is like a game of Snakes and Ladders, sometimes you have to slide down a few snakes to get to the top.”
50. “My ex-husband is like a bad habit, I wish I could break him.”
51. “Marriage is like a game of Poker, sometimes you have to bluff to win the game.”
52. “Divorce is like a game of Charades, sometimes you have to act out what you really mean to win the game.”
53. “My ex-husband is like a bad rash, the more I scratch, the worse it gets.”
54. “Marriage is like a game of Checkers, sometimes you have to jump over a few pieces to get to the other side.”
55. “Divorce is like a game of Blackjack, sometimes you have to know when to fold.”
56. “My ex-husband is like a bad penny, he keeps showing up when I least expect it.”
57. “Marriage is like a game of Battleship, sometimes you have to sink a few ships to win the game.”
58. “Divorce is like a game of Risk, sometimes you have to take a few risks to win the game.”
59. “My ex-husband is like a bad haircut, I wish I never got it.”
60. “Marriage is like a game of Tetris, sometimes you have to fit a square peg into a round hole.”
61. “Divorce is like a game of Connect Four, sometimes you have to line up your pieces to win the game.”
62. “My ex-husband is like a bad dream, I wish I could wake up and find out it never happened.”
63. “Marriage is like a game of Monopoly, sometimes you have to mortgage a few properties to win the game.”
64. “Divorce is like a game of Jenga, sometimes you have to take out a few blocks to win the game.”
65. “My ex-husband is like a bad smell, the longer he stays around, the worse it gets.”
66. “Marriage is like a game of Clue, sometimes you have to figure out who did it and with what weapon.”
67. “Divorce is like a game of Pictionary, sometimes you have to draw a few bad pictures to win the game.”
68. “My ex-husband is like a bad habit, I wish I could quit him.”
69. “Marriage is like a game of Scrabble, sometimes you have to make the best of the letters you’re given.”
70. “Divorce is like a game of Simon Says, sometimes you have to follow the wrong instructions to win the game.”
71. “My ex-husband is like a bad memory, I wish I could forget him.”
72. “Marriage is like a game of Twister, sometimes you have to contort yourself to make it work.”
73. “Divorce is like a game of Risk, sometimes you have to take a few risks to win the