Michael Scott Bros Before Hos Sayings
Michael Scott, the beloved character from the hit TV show “The Office”, is known for his quirky personality and hilarious one-liners. One of his most memorable sayings is “Bros Before Hos”. Here are the top 99 Michael Scott Bros Before Hos sayings:
1. “I declare bankruptcy!” 2. “That’s what she said.” 3. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” 4. “I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.” 5. “I have cause. It is beCAUSE I hate him.” 6. “I am Beyoncé always.” 7. “Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” 8. “I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.” 9. “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.” 10. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” 11. “I am not a robot. I am a unicorn.” 12. “I’m not crying, it’s just been raining on my face.” 13. “I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.” 14. “I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.” 15. “I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors in the mud and the rain. It’s possible a man could have slipped in there. There’d be no way of knowing.” 16. “I don’t hate people. I just feel better when they’re not around.” 17. “I don’t hate you. It’s just that if you were on fire, I wouldn’t piss on you to put it out.” 18. “I declare Christmas officially over.” 19. “I’m not a millionaire. I thought I was, but then I realized I was just looking at my bank account balance on an ATM screen while wearing sunglasses.” 20. “I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.” 21. “I’m not a hero. I’m a mere defender of the office.” 22. “I am the king of forwards. I can find anything.” 23. “I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.” 24. “I don’t want to work. I just want to bang on this mug all day.” 25. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. But I do know that I’m going to do it really, really well.” 26. “I’m not afraid of death. I’m just afraid of what comes after.” 27. “I am a black belt in gift wrapping.” 28. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” 29. “I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?” 30. “I’m not a bad person. I’m just not very good at being good.” 31. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” 32. “I don’t know where I’ll be in five years, but I hope it’s somewhere with a lot of nachos.” 33. “I don’t have a lot of experience with the supernatural, but I have seen Ghostbusters, and that’s pretty much the same thing.” 34. “I am a great multitasker. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” 35. “I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.” 36. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” 37. “I am not a beet farmer. What is going on?!” 38. “I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke.” 39. “I’m not a doctor. But if I was, I would prescribe you to shut up.” 40. “I’m not a bad boss. I’m a boss who makes bad decisions.” 41. “I am a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I’ve only seen Antz.” 42. “I’m not going to be a millionaire. I’m going to be a billionaire.” 43. “I don’t know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too.” 44. “I’m not a vampire. I’m a vampire hunter. I’ve killed quite a few in my day.” 45. “I’m not a hero. I’m a hero’s sidekick. Like Robin.” 46. “I don’t hate Toby. He’s just everything that’s wrong with the world.” 47. “I am not a baby person. I am a grown-up person. I have a briefcase.” 48. “I’m not a hero. I’m a superhero. Like Batman. Or Spider-Man. Or Superman. Or any of the X-Men.” 49. “I am not a morning person. I am a coffee person.” 50. “I’m not a chef. But I do own a George Foreman grill.” 51. “I’m not a therapist. But I am a patient. And I’m not just saying that because I’m crazy. Although that’s also true.” 52. “I’m not a millionaire. But I will be someday.” 53. “I’m not a hero. I’m an idea man.” 54. “I’m not a hero. I’m a survivor. Like Destiny’s Child.” 55. “I’m not a magician. But I do have a magic trick. Watch as I make this piece of paper disappear… Ta-da! It’s gone.” 56. “I’m not a lawyer. But I am a law-abiding citizen. Except for all the times I’ve broken the law.” 57. “I’m not a model. But I have modeled in the past.” 58. “I’m not a doctor. But I play one on TV. Just kidding. I don’t even have a TV.” 59. “I’m not a superhero. But I am super. And I’m also a hero. Because I saved a baby from a burning building once. Just kidding. I’ve never saved a baby from a burning building. But I would if I had to.” 60. “I’m not a genius. But I am really, really smart.” 61. “I’m not a millionaire. But I do have a lot of money. In my Monopoly game.” 62. “I’m not a hero. But I am heroic. Like Gandhi. Or Martin Luther King Jr. Or that dog from Homeward Bound.” 63. “I’m not a hero. But I am a champion. Like Rocky. Or Muhammad Ali. Or that guy who won the hot dog eating contest.” 64. “I’m not a hero. But I am a role model. Like Oprah. Or Ellen. Or that guy who invented the Snuggie.” 65. “I’m not a hero. But I am a legend. Like Babe Ruth. Or Elvis. Or that guy who can eat 100 chicken wings in one sitting.” 66. “I’m not a hero. But I am a pioneer. Like Christopher Columbus. Or Neil Armstrong. Or that guy who first put pineapple on pizza.” 67. “I’m not a hero. But I am a visionary. Like Steve Jobs. Or Thomas Edison. Or that guy who invented the selfie stick.” 68. “I’m not a hero. But I am a trailblazer. Like Harriet Tubman. Or Rosa Parks. Or that guy who first wore Crocs to a wedding.” 69. “I’m not a hero. But I am a trendsetter. Like Lady Gaga. Or Madonna. Or that guy who first wore a fedora unironically.” 70. “I’m not a hero. But I am a maverick. Like Maverick from Top Gun. Or John McCain. Or that guy who first put ketchup on a hot dog.” 71. “I’m not a hero. But I am a conqueror. Like Julius Caesar. Or Alexander the Great. Or that guy who first climbed Mount Everest.” 72. “I’m not a hero. But I am a legend in my own mind.” 73. “I’m not a hero. But I am a miracle worker. Like Jesus. Or David Blaine. Or that guy who got his toaster to work by hitting it with a hammer.” 74. “I’m not a hero. But I am a warrior. Like William Wallace. Or Joan of Arc. Or that guy who can bench press a car.” 75. “I’m not a hero. But I am a philosopher. Like Socrates. Or Plato. Or that guy who said ‘YOLO’ before it was cool.” 76. “I’m not a hero. But I am a magician. Like David Copperfield. Or Harry Houdini. Or that guy who can make a quarter disappear behind his ear.” 77. “I’m not a hero. But I am a scholar. Like Einstein. Or Hawking. Or that guy who knows all the lyrics to every ’90s boy band song.” 78. “I’m not a hero. But I am a comedian. Like Jerry Seinfeld. Or Ellen DeGeneres. Or that guy who tells really bad jokes at parties.” 79. “I’m not a hero. But I am a philosopher. Like Aristotle. Or Nietzsche. Or that guy who thinks pineapple belongs on pizza.”