1. "I Always Wanted To Be Somebody, But Now I Realize I Should Have Been More Specific." – Lily Tomlin

Looking for a good laugh to cheer someone up? Check out these 99 funny quotes:

2. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

3. “I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

4. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.” – Unknown

6. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Unknown

7. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

8. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.” – Unknown

10. “I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.” – Unknown

11. “I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.” – Unknown

12. “I’m not procrastinating. I’m just prioritizing my tasks in a way that makes it look like I’m procrastinating.” – Unknown

14. “I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.” – Unknown

15. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

16. “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman. I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together.” – Unknown

18. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using sarcasm to mask the fact that I’m right.” – Unknown

19. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing

20. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my loud voice to express my opinion.” – Unknown

22. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

23. “I’m not short. I’m fun-sized.” – Unknown

24. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my debating skills to express my opinion.” – Unknown

26. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my inside voice to express my opinion.” – Unknown

27. “I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving my energy for when I really need it.” – Unknown

28. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my bossy voice to express my opinion.” – Unknown

30. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my logical reasoning to express my opinion.” – Unknown

31. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my confident voice to express my opinion.” – Unknown

32. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my charming personality to express my opinion.” – Unknown

34. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my empathy to express my opinion.” – Unknown

35. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my creativity to express my opinion.” – Unknown

36. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my intuition to express my opinion.” – Unknown

38. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my wisdom to express my opinion.” – Unknown

39. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my intelligence to express my opinion.” – Unknown

40. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my love to express my opinion.” – Unknown

42. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my determination to express my opinion.” – Unknown

43. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my patience to express my opinion.” – Unknown

44. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my perseverance to express my opinion.” – Unknown

46. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my confidence to express my opinion.” – Unknown

47. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my assertiveness to express my opinion.” – Unknown

48. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my integrity to express my opinion.” – Unknown

50. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my sarcasm to express my opinion.” – Unknown

51. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my wit to express my opinion.” – Unknown

52. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my intelligence to express my opinion.” – Unknown

54. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my creativity to express my opinion.” – Unknown

55. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my intuition to express my opinion.” – Unknown

56. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my confidence to express my opinion.” – Unknown

58. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my determination to express my opinion.” – Unknown

59. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my patience to express my opinion.” – Unknown

60. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my perseverance to express my opinion.” – Unknown

62. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my confidence to express my opinion.” – Unknown

63. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my assertiveness to express my opinion.” – Unknown

64. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my integrity to express my opinion.” – Unknown

66. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my sarcasm to express my opinion.” – Unknown

67. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my wit to express my opinion.” – Unknown

68. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my intelligence to express my opinion.” – Unknown

70. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my creativity to express my opinion.” – Unknown

71. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my intuition to express my opinion.” – Unknown

72. “I’m not arguing. I’m just using my confidence to express my opinion.” – Unknown